Sunday, 18 January 2015

BATTLE OF THE SEXES

Battle of the Sexes | www.adkscrapbook.com

After several hours through the night in the theatre, she finally gave birth to a bouncing baby boy (though babies never really bounce) in the early hours of the morning. Dr Nwoha who was a relative and also their family doctor came out smiling to her husband who stayed back waiting on her as it was their first child. He announced to Mr Michael that his wife delivered safely without any problem. Even though he didn’t have money to foot the bill, he was extremely glad that he had a son. A son to carry on his name after his death. What manner of man would want his name dead with him? I am yet to find that that man – not in Africa!

Later that evening, he brought his wife and the newborn home to a compound full of excited neighbours who awaited their arrival. They walked into their one room apartment where they moved in from a previous two bedroom flat... The boy grew and when it was time for school, there was not so much money to finance his education but they tried anyway.

She became pregnant again when their son was four years old. They were not richer than they were the previous years, but Mr Michael was hopeful and he anticipated to balance the equation in his family. Months rolled by and her tummy grew bigger. She started a small scale business in buying fabrics from Aba to sell in a shop she rented very close to her house in Port Harcourt. On the day she went into labour, she journeyed a thousand miles to the hospital where she birthed her first child. This is because the doctor who doubles as a relative would accept to be paid later after delivery and maybe in instalments too. It had become a routine because somehow, there have not always been money mapped out to pay the hospital bills.

Thank God! She had a safe delivery – another boy. The doctor called her husband who showed up late in the evening unlike when she had their first child. He wasn’t really happy. He wanted a girl child this time, so he wondered why he should show her love and care when she couldn’t give him what he wanted. Their arrival wasn’t as glorious as the first. Her loving husband suddenly became a stranger and refused to help her out with anything, so that when they got home, she went into the kitchen to make herself the usual pepper soup prepared for nursing mothers. She felt dejected and resolved to stop having babies.

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Their boys grew strong and healthy and were both enrolled in school. Her business thrived and she was able to pay their school fees when her husband said he had no money. The situation didn’t stop them from copulating but because of the state of things and her seeming new role as breadwinner of the family, she started using contraceptives to prevent another pregnancy. But Mr Michael wouldn’t have that – he wanted another child – a girl precisely. He called up her aunt (mother figure) to lay complain about his wife’s refusal to conceive again.

Her second son was barely two years old when she conceived for the third time. She had heed to her Aunt’s advice and let him do it. As she entered her second trimester, her husband requested for a scan to ascertain the sex of the baby. She was hesitant at first but eventually shifted her stand. Isn’t he her husband? The man of her life and the father of her unborn child? The scan was done and the doctor informed them that they were going to have a boy. On hearing this, Mr Michael became furious and left the hospital without his wife. She returned home feeling sad and regretful, she would change the result to make him happy, but then, she can't do anything about it. Despite her condition, she still made regular trips to Aba to keep her business going. It then dawned on her that she was all alone. No mother, no brother and no husband! Mr Michael became unavailable and rained abuses on her and her inability to conceive a female child at a slightest opportunity.

Nine months passed and the baby didn’t arrive. She kept feeling her tummy every now and then to make sure the baby was still alive and also frequented the hospital to ask the doctor why it took longer than the anticipated date of delivery. While her husband continued in his unavailability in her life, she thought about how babies who were not really wanted died in the womb before delivery. Very early in the morning two weeks later, she was in labour with her vulva dilating and contracting. She called on their neighbour who had a car and he drove her to the hospital. Labour continued until 11PM when she delivered the baby boy.

Mr Michael has refused to visit his wife and new son child at the hospital. When asked 'why?' he said "I need a child [girl] that would liberate me from this poverty and not one to continue in it'.

Friday, 9 January 2015

RAINY SUNSHINE 2


When I graduated from the University, I had already perfected plans of my marriage to Joe – by myself – in my head. We have never mentioned marriage during the course of our relationship, but you know how people plan ahead of time, especially when things seem to be going well for them. I planned a perfect wedding ceremony, the one that will have all my friends and university classmates in attendance. I planned a happy home, a family with Joe – four children – children who will play round the gardens of our house, children who will fill the house with their noises. I imagined chasing them down when they become too loud, how I would scold them when they do something silly; I imagined how I'll take them to and fro school, and give them lessons at home when they return. I obsessed about having Joe as my husband. I planned a life of bliss!

Whoever said it is a wrong thing to think that the man you are in love with will eventually become your husband? Whoever said it is wrong to think that the man in your life, the man you owe a lot to will cement your relationship with him in marriage?  I am in love with Joe, there is nothing wrong whatsoever if I think or plan our consummation. I did that, and I am happy.

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I was in school, living in the campus; my Joe was living apart from me, away in another city. It is hard to tell what your partner is doing at a given point in time, especially in my type of situation with Joe – in our type of relationship – call it long distance relationship if you will. Men chased after me. Boys came calling. Married men too. But I remained faithful to my one true love, I remained chaste. I loved Joe. How I felt about him could not be expressed or conveyed in phrasal combinations. It was deep. It screams out loud, it was beyond words and it beats worlds. Loving Joe put smiles on my face. He was God sent and a blessing because he did everything for me:  took care of my school fees, books, feeding, and many other things I will not mention. With Joe, all I needed to do was eat, breathe, and read. At a point I thought my roommate became envious of me, she wanted to have a taste of what I had.

Joe eventually had his way with me, no, I didn’t give in completely but he did anyway. We started doing it. What can I do? I mean it is a once and for all thing, you don’t lose your pride twice. Once in the act he mentioned that he would love to make me his wife, that we would live together forever, that we would grow old together. That was a perfect moment, a moment I had eagerly anticipated all my life. It was as if the gods of love and affection was living inside of me because what and how I felt about Joe skyrocketed. I couldn’t live or breathe without him. Without him there was no air. He hurt me, he defiled me, he abused me. I should report him to the police, I should sue him, I should tell the world what he did to me but no, he has been there for me – always. This might sound foolish but doesn’t love conquer all?